mazirian - Pixie fart

From the dream archives: I dreamt I was in a store. I don't recall what sort of store it was, but it resembled something like an old barn with big wooden timbers and a loft. The proprietor was short and balding and he wore a green apron and an excited expression that seemed sort of friendly and sort of macabre at the same time. Also in attendance were symmetrian and angerbunny.

The shop keeper whistled and snapped his fingers and as he did a tiny woman dressed in dark blue tights walked over to the edge of the loft. She had a savage expression on her face and we somehow collectively knew without discussing it that she was essentially a wild animal and not a tiny human at all. She hopped like a tree frog down onto the shop keepers outstretched hand, landing on all fours and sticking there in an unnatural way. She stood and sneered at the three of us.

We smiled at the thing and paid the shop keeper some money. angerbunny paid, with his credit card and I remember wondering what the cost was and not understanding what we had just paid for. I somehow understood that none of us knew why we were paying the money.

Then the shopkeeper led us outside the shop (which didn't really have a wall at all facing the street it was on) and he held the creature out on his hand. It jumped up into the air and wriggled its way through the air. It didn't fly as such, it just sort of drifted upward like smoke, twisting its body slowly this way and that. After a time it seemed to suddenly reach a limit and it glided down to a rock. Shortly thereafter it hopped back upwards repeating the feat, but this time higher, reaching maybe 20 feet in the air. I noticed that the creature held its breathe as it drifted up through the air and then exhaled in a slow sigh as it returned to the ground.

So we watched this little creature rapt and slack-jawed and smiling like idiots and after a time the shop keeper finally called it back and held it out on his hand for us to inspect up close. symmetrian was really taken with the thing and reached out to take it. I remember thinking that seemed presumptive, but the creature seemed fine with it. He scratched its back for a while, but then made the mistake of rubbing its belly. The shopkeeper looked up to warn him but it was too late. The creature jumped up and jackknifed and a little puff of sparkling green gas came out of her ass and wafted right into symmetrian's face. The thing jumped onto the bald head of the store keeper and from there back up to its loft where we heard the sound of a little door being slammed shut.

angerbunny and I had been distracted by the thing's exit, and when we turned back to symmetrian we saw that his eyes were crossed. The shop keeper noticed this and just shrugged his shoulders. "Pixie fart," he said, as though that were some kind of explanation.

We left the shop, and angerbunny and I were laughing uncontrollably at symmetrian's eyes, and having to guide him by his scarf so he wouldn't walk into things.